Parenting Race

 So, I did this… ran an eight mile race.   Well, ran/walked.  haha, but I did it.  I have never done that before.   It was hard, but I did it.

As I was on the route, I had a chance to think about how it all related to parenting.   Here are a few of my thoughts.

At the beginning, I was running, slowly, but running.   I thought, I got this… after a bit, I had to walk.  I took off running so to speak.  What I really needed to do, was do what I knew to do.  As I was training, I would walk a block, run a block.  I knew that was what my body could do.   Maybe with parenting, it’s the same.  We know what we can do and what we can’t do.   When a new baby is born, we can’t keep the house spotless all the time.  When a child is sick, we may not be able to accomplish all we need to that day, week, or month.   When a child is sad, scared or any other emotion, we may have to put aside our expectations of ourselves and maybe even expectations of them at that time.  Do what you CAN do and don’t try to overdo to reach some unimagined finish line.

About 2 miles in, I was walking.  My pace was good to finish on time.  I looked over and there was a young lady walking on the other side at the same pace as me.   I said “hey let’s do this together, since we seem to be the same pace.”  She said “sure”.  So we ran/walked the rest of the way together.   I said at one point that I have never done this before and my goal was just to finish.  She said her goal was just to get there that morning.  She had accomplished her goal, so we cheered.  She has had a tragic life event in that recent past and hasn’t been doing much.   She didn’t tell anyone besides her mother, who drove her there, that she was doing this.   She needed to do it for herself.  That was her only goal.   FANTASTIC!   One step at a time ( or 12,000 + in our 8 miler).   She was discouraged at the mile 2 marker that she would be last to finish.   She had even sent a text to the race coordinators and asked what happened if you were the last to arrive.  They sent a text back saying. “then you get a police escort!” We both laughed and thought that would be pretty cool, so we weren’t worried.  We now both had the goal to just finish!

Sometimes life takes a different turn.  We think we are going one way with our kids, and in fact they have a different way of doing things.  Embrace the fun, embrace the positive and maybe change your goals.   You still have the BIG PICTURE goals of characteristics you want your children to have when they are adults, but you might have to change your small goals to get you there depending on what life sends your way.

At the finish line, we sprinted (well jogged we agreed) in.  We didn’t arrive last and we arrived within the time frame.  We had watched our time the whole time.   WE MADE IT!  We gave each other a huge hug.  New friends who worked together.  Maybe in parenting, we need to make sure we have GOOD friends along the way to push us when discouraged, or even just listen when we can’t do it.   When I say good friends, really look for that. There are too many parents out there who compare or put down or try to make themselves look good.  Find friends who support you.

Lastly…as I ran (jogged) into the finish line, three of my grandchildren were waiting there for me, cheering me on and ended up running with me.   My 6 year old grandson thinks I won the whole race because I got a medal!   We won’t tell him how long it took me or that everyone got one.  In his eyes, I’m a winner!   Your children think the same thing… in their eyes, you are the winner!  No race here, you are just a winning parent! 

A friend asked my grandson if he was there to cheer them on.  His reply was “no, I’m just here to cheer my grandma on!”   Thanks Karv! 

Be A Model

Be a Model…

Isn’t it interesting that we expect so much from our children, yet we behave the way we want to.  I am going to tell you right now, that if you expect your child to be something and act a certain way, you MUST act that way also!  

My children participated in sports teams as they grew up.  One time, a daughter was on a new team.  I watched one young lady treat my daughter and others in a mean way.  Unless you followed her and did what she wanted, you were shunned.  This was hard for my daughter and hard for me to watch.   Then one day I met this girls mother.  I knew exactly why the young girl was like she was.  Her mother was exactly the same way!  Funny how that works.  

I heard a quote recently that I took to heart.   

“Children are great imitators, so give them something great to imitate!” Joy D. Jones

Children are going to imitate.  Do you want them imitating you and your values or someone else?   If you need to change something (and believe me we all do, even when you are my age!), be courageous, be bold and take strength.   Be honest, authentic and smart about yourself.  Show your children you can change.   This also models a life skill.  Looking at our own faults and changing them shows them they can also do the same.  

MODEL that which you expect….

SMILE!

"Children are so receptive to a smile, that if a parent could make just one change in their parenting style, I would suggest smiling more often and offering hugs and affection."       Diana Loomans/Julia Goday

I love this quote.  Your children love a positive and happy parent. 

Having said that, I understand and completely relate to bad days and grumpy moods.  Sometimes we have just had it. But in those moments if you can just take a deep breath, smile and tell them you love them even though your are having a hard time, they will naturally be empathetic (as children are) and will try harder.  

Smile more in the good times also.  Let them see you be happy.  A smile says so much.  Think of a stranger.  When they smile , you smile back. If someone walks past you and doesn't smile, what thought goes through your mind?   

SMILE   SMILE   SMILE  

See what happens. 

What would you do?

You ask your child if she would like oranges or apples for lunch.  She says “ I want cookies.”  You repeat.. “would you like oranges or apples?”  She says  “I want cookies”.  You say… “if you don’t choose, I will choose… would you like oranges or apples?”  She says “Cookies!”   

You then say… “ok, we will have apples”.  You cut the apples and she then says “I want oranges!”   Now…. WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

The Joy of Motherhood

As we celebrated Motherhood this week I am again reminded that ...
Motherhood is hard! I am not going to sugarcoat things and say that it is
always easy. There are hard frustrating days and weeks! I get it!

I gave a speech this week and I used this quote:

“Recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be
hard times and frustrating times, but amid the challenges, there will be
moments of joy and satisfaction.” M. Russell Ballard

Look for those moments.. it’s been a long day, nothing seems to be going
right, your house is a mess, your children are fighting, your boss is
demanding you finish a project now (insert your frustrating moments here)
and right then your 2 year old looks at you with those baby blue eyes and at
that moment you realize what you are doing and the important job being a
mother is. THERE’S YOUR MOMENT!

Enjoy the moment you are in, even with the struggles. Don’t look to the next
step...thinking it will be easier. Enjoy the newborn even as you get up in the
middle of the night, enjoy the young child even as they get up in the middle
of the night, enjoy the pre-teen even when they won’t go to bed until late,
enjoy the teenager even as you stay up late waiting for them to return safe
to their home, enjoy your adult children And by this time, you don’t sleep at
night anymore anyway.

Seriously, look for your moments. They WILL come, every day if you watch
for them. Cherish them, write them down, take a picture, do what you have
to do to store them in your memories. Trust me, as a mother and a
grandmother, those are the memories I remember... not the messy house or
the cranky boss!

Give Them Room to Change

If you haven't been on the Parenting Piece blog before WELCOME!  To those who have been with us for awhile, we are back again, ready to help with new ideas for parenting!

New Post!

GIVE THEM ROOM TO CHANGE

I recently thought of a person who shared this experience with me.  As an adult, she has felt like she had a certain negative characteristic because her mother has said to her constantly... "you have always been this way".

My friend realize, as an adult, that this is not true.  It took her many years to understand that she is NOT this way, but her mother sees her that way because of events in her childhood.  

Lets look at this deeply.   If her mother had given her "room to change", maybe she would have taken that opportunity.  If someone sees a child as "always that way", the child tends to believe that it is true, even when it isn't.   "Room to change" is giving the child (no matter what age) the opportunity to see themselves in a different way and shows them you have faith and trust that they will change a habit, a misbehaviour or an underlying concern you may have.   

This does not mean it will happen overnight.   Giving them room or space requires patience and trust.   

Words such as "I know you can do this" or my favorite "what could you do better next time?" work like miracle words!  Positive reinforcement and letting them see what they could do better are the best ways to encouraging changing a behaviour...

Recently we spent some time in the south pacific.  We captured this beautiful video on a beach.  There were thousands of butterflies!  Watch below...

Can you imagine all the caterpillars that were there before?  haha   Each one of these beautiful creatures were once caterpillars and changed to butterflies!  Our children will do the same...

Let's give our children "room to change" and better themselves.  They will see themselves in a different way and won't have to wait until they are an adult to realize that they really haven't carried  that negative trait all this years.  

If you are interested in individual parent coaching, visit our website at www.theparentingpiece.ca

Weekly Goal - Explore

I saw quote today that read "Children will learn to explore when they are given the opportunities to do so and not given a reason why they cannot." What a beautiful sentiment this is. Exploring is so important to learning and the developing mind.

"Children use their senses, their minds and their bodies to find out about and make sense of what they see, feel and experience in the world around them. They gather information and develop new skills, including thinking skills. They form ideas and theories and test these out. They refine their ideas through exploring their environment actively and through interacting and communicating with adults and with other children. Much of this happens through play and other experiences that allow children to be creative, to take risks, and to make discoveries. As they learn, they retest their theories adjusting them to take on board new discoveries and new experiences. " - NCCA (Source)

Let them walk around outside, and feel the grass on their toes, let them jump in puddles, let them climb on the playground (with your supervision), let them run around! It's what they are meant to do (with proper supervision of course!). Here is a great article about ways to let your child explore:

http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/learning/exploring.html

Neil deGrasse Tyson said,

"Kids should be allowed to break stuff more often. That's a consequence of exploration. Exploration is what you do when you don't know what you're doing". 

Now I'm not saying go let them break the TV or vase... but let them go outside the throw ice cubes on the ground, or build a tower with them and let them knock it down, and rebuild it. When they are a little older, let them take apart something you build out of lego, or help them take apart a flashlight when they are old enough. Grab a glower, and let them pull it apart to see everything inside of it. If you're fixing something, let them watch, or help you take it apart when they are old enough. 

Mark Twain said it best:

Explore. Dream. Discover!!

PIN IT!

See our Pinterest for great ideas!! Click here, or here!

Weekly Goal: Better

We're a little late on our weekly goal (thank "life" for that haha!). But here it is!

“If today you are a little bit better than you were yesterday, then that's enough. And, if tomorrow you are a little bit better than you were today, then that's enough.” - David A. Bednar

Everyday, lets strive to do a little better than yesterday. Just one little thing that you can do better than yesterday. Each day that is a step forward!

And Don't forget to pin :)

Iceberg Ahead!

You've seen or heard of the iceberg analogy I'm sure.   When looking at an iceburg we see only about 10% of the ice.  The rest of it is underneath.

Let's say that top 10% is the behavior we see in our children.   When things aren't going so good, let's try to stop and look at the 90% underneath.   What could that 90% be?

Let me suggest a few things.   Stress, lack of sleep, hungry, angry, bored, sick, temperament, personality, frustration....

When a problem occurs, it is better to deal with the part in the 90% than just the tip we can see.   If we deal with the tip only, it doesn't solve the problem, it only stops the behavior at that moment.

Let me give you an example.   One of my children had a hard time at around 5:00 at night, every night!   At first, I just dealt with it daily, but it never solve the problem underneath that was causing this.   I finally realized that she was absolutely hungry at that time.  Even though she had an after school snack, her body at that time was needing nutrients!   So, once I realized this, at 5:00 I would give her a half an apple, an orange, frozen peas, or something nutritious. If she didn't eat as much at dinner, it wasn't a concern as the snack was always healthy.  (That wasn't ever a concern though, as she seemed to need to eat at night!).  The top 10% (behavior) was solved, when I realized what might be in the 90% that was causing it!

Often we think children need to be punished and that is how they learn.   I say to look at what might be the cause of the problem and solve that piece, and the behavior will improve.   So, dive and explore underneath and try to see all the iceberg!

Pin it!

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Mistakes and Misbehavior

I know parents are often at a loss as to what to do when children misbehave.  Particularly if it has to do with another child.   It is difficult, I know, to figure out who was at fault and how to teach them to behave nicely towards others.

May I make a few suggestions?   If children are unkind to others (this includes you!), here are 4 steps to help turn the negative into a learning experience.  If you use these steps often, it will become a habit for both you and your child.

1. Children need to understand what they did wrong.   Older kids can verbally tell you what happened...you have to guide little ones to understand.   Don't lecture or go on about what happened, remember we are trying to make this a positive learning moment.  Just make sure they understand what happened.

2.  Children also need to recognize that they had a part in the situation.  If they continue to say.."but it wasn't me" etc, just simply state that they were part of the problem.  Once they recognize this, move on.

3.  Next step is to make amends.   That may be an apology or replacing something.  It could be restoring something to its original state (cleaning up, washing a coloured wall etc).   Remember, apologies will be different for every child and every situation.   Some show it emotional, some just say the words.  This is ok, as we are teaching them what an apology is.

4.  My last suggestion is important and I think parents miss this step!  This is probably the biggest step to a positive learning opportunity.   Simply ask your child what they could do next time to avoid this situation.   Ask them what steps they can take when this problem occurs again.   Depending on age, with younger children you will have to tell them and with older children you can guide them into coming up with solutions.   A child is more able to remember what to do when the situation comes up again, if they are involved in the solution.

So remember:   Your children are going to make mistakes. It is a human thing to do.  We need to guide those mistakes into opportunities to learn how to do it better the next time.

Pin me!

Weekly Goal: Play

Playing with our children is so important. Not only does it teach THEM to play, but shows them we want to be a part of THEIR world, not just having them in our world. Besides that, their world is much more fun!!

Printable 8x10 - right click, save and print! 

So go spend a little time in your kids' world. You'll be amazed by the magic and beauty!

Pin this one! 

Weekly Goal: Gentleness

Here is your weekly goal. Strive to be a little more gentle with your children, in your actions, words, discipline, suggestions, requests, etc.

REMEMBER: be gentle with YOURSELF also!

Print your copy (click on the picture, right click, save as...)

Make sure to pin it as well (this size is for pinning!):

Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year!

A new year is a time to make changes, set goals, and restart!   Before you quit reading because you have heard that over and over again and you have no time as a parent to renew each day, let alone set goals for a whole year (whew) let me suggest something simple and easy..... And it doesn't matter when you start!  New year, middle of February, end of June, whenever!   ( kinda takes the pressure off huh?)

Each week we will have a simple goal for you to work on for the week.  A simple word or thought to remember for the week as you strive to be a better parent. Our goals will be posted each week...Feel free to print them out if you would like.

No need to worry, We will still post our regular fun posts, parenting advice and other thoughts.

So bring on 2016 with encouragement each week from the Parenting Piece!

Laurie and Christie.

Attitude of Gratitude

Ahhh... My favorite time of the year!   I have always loved December and Christmas!   A time for sharing, teaching children about giving and service.  We also teach them to think of others and about kindness!  I LOVE this!

I believe it is also a good time to teach our children about gratitude.   In a world of instant gratification, it is easy for a child to forget to be thankful for what they have and receive.   We need to step back in time when it comes to gratitude.   Let me give you a few suggestions.

- take time to write thank you cards

- take time to make a phone call to thank those not present at the moment

- send an email with a special thank you from your child

- say thank you when receiving a gift

- talk with them about the importance of a simple thank you and being grateful

- model gratitude

- say "you're welcome".  ( our society is forgetting this piece.  You will hear "no problem" or something similar.   Teach children and remember yourself to say "you're welcome".

- if it is gift they may not appreciate or like, teach them how to say thank you in a polite way.

Saying thank you seems simple, but it doesn't come naturally for most children.     However, gratitude and saying thank you will come naturally when it becomes a habit.   Make it a habit in your family!

Merry Christmas (Happy whatever you celebrate) and THANK YOU 😉 for being a part of the Parenting Piece family!

Laurie and Christie

A Different Kind of Mother

Christie here. I haven't ever really introduced myself on the blog. I am Laurie's daughter, and am the "tech" side of the blog here. Mom writes the awesome content. I try and keep the blog as awesome as her content.

This post is going to be a little different. Mom suggested I post this, as it has been shared a few times now on social media (which I am extremely honored about). She thought it needed to be posted on the blog. It's not about your typical "motherhood". It is about a whole different kind of mother - the one you never really know about, or know exist unless someone tells you. In addition to being a mother of 3 beautiful kids, I am also the kind of aforementioned mother. I am a birth mother. I placed my son for adoption when he was born, after painstakingly choosing his forever family. He just celebrated his 9th birthday. Below, is the snippet of my story, the one that was shared on social media a few times. I never knew the impact it could make, but I'm so grateful for the chance to tell my story in a small way. 


Please feel free to comment and ask any questions you may have about adoption, birth mothers etc. 

"My birth son's (adoptive) mother sent this photo, of my birth son right after he was born, to me. I remember that day so well. His wide, bright eyes as he opened his eyes for the first time. His unwavering stare at the world around him. The little bubbles he was creating around his mouth. His 'amazed' expression as he glanced at his forever father. And the first 'coos' he gave to his forever mother. I will never forget my birth son's smell, his cries, and his soft skin as I held him. How we fell asleep together. How I sang to him.

Josh Groban's, 'Awake,' was my song for my birth son. I remember how well that song fit how I felt that weekend he was born: 'Keep me awake to memorize you. Give us more time to be this way. We can't stay like this forever, but I have you next to me today... We'll let tomorrow wait, you're here right now with me. And all of my fears just fall away, when you are all I see.'

I will remember the love we shared that day, today - I love you baby boy. I will always love you. Happy Birthday.
--------------------------------------------------
The relationship that I have with my birth son's parents is amazing. I am so thankful that I can be a small part of my birth son's life, and watch him grow. I see him at least once a year (when schedules permit), and he and his adoptive parents even attended my wedding. Open adoption is such a beautiful thing." - Birth Mother, Christie from Canada

It's Not Fair!!

"That's not fair!"  "She has more than me!"  "You love him more than me!"  Have you ever heard these words?   In a child's mind...it is true. They are all or nothing.... if you give your love to them, there is nothing for me!   That is natural for them to think this way...but they are teachable.   They can be taught to look at fairness in a whole new way.  Fair doesn't always mean equal.   There can be enough for everyone.

It's not always your job to fix the problem.  If you let your children learn to talk it out and not get you involved, it teaches problem solving.  Too often we don't want children to feel disappointment or jealousy in the family.   I think children need to feel this emotions at times, to learn how to deal with them.   It's O.K. for them to be upset about something they don't see as fair.   A nice conversation when things have cooled down might be the best way to help them understand.   Having said that, it's not always necessary.

If one child is overpowering another too often, a talk with both at separate times and at a calm time is appropriate.   To the one being "taken advantages of in sharing", possibly ask them what they could say or do the next time that happens.  Empower them to stick up for what they deem to be fair.   You could ask the same thing to the child who seems to always get their way.   A simple conversation can change the way THEY handle it the next time.

I know one parent who says "I don't do fair". It seems now the number of "not fair" comments have decreased.  Dad doesn't buy into it or let it push his buttons.

Other ways to handle the NOT FAIR attitude in your home could include:

-Validate their feeling without solving the problem.
-Let them know you have confidence they can work this out and praise them when they do
-When they say "it's not fair"  you can explain your decision, but only once.  (Use your best judgement as a parent on this, you don't always have to explain!)  If they continue, you ask them to explain back to you.  They usually calm down at this time.
-If it is an on going problem, sit down with that child and do scenarios to help them with problem solving.  Make it fun as you teach the lesson.
-And as always my favorite parenting technique ever is to spend one on one time with each child.   Develop that relationship!  As you do this, the jealousy and fairness attitudes will decrease as your child learns that he/she is important to you no matter what another child or person receives.

Daily Reminders

I really want to talk about one of my favorite quotes that I have in my home...it is a daily reminder of what is important in my life.

"Never let a problem to be solved be more important than a person to be loved!"  Thomas S Monson

I love these words.  If each of us used this in our parenting, then more compassion, more empathy, more understanding, more forgiving and more teaching would be felt.

Short post with a huge thought!   Share with us how you could or already do use this in your life!

Laughing Matters

Happy thoughts today!   So no teaching today.... I just want you to enjoy your children!  PLAY!

Ideas: 

• Build a fort, 
• sing a song, 
• do a puzzle, 
• play a game, 
• blow bubbles, 
• face paint,
• read, 
• finger paint with pudding, 
• pull them around on an old blanket, 
• dance, 
• play dress up, 
• paint a fence with water, 
• build an obstacle course with pillows and boxes, 
• living room picnic, 
• build a spaceship.

Best advice for today?  LAUGH!

Two Words to stop yelling, rudeness, meltdowns, and more!!

Two calm words to stop yelling, rudeness and power struggles (and more!)

I have to tell you that this idea came from my daughter.  Where she heard it first, I have no idea, but I LOVE the results she sees when she uses these words.  I now teach them in every class I teach on discipline.  Parents come back with positive results!   I would love to flood the world with these two words!

 "Try again"

Wow!   Two simple words.  

When are children are speaking rudely, excitedly, not using manners, yelling, meltdowns, not sharing, hitting, eye rolling, bad language, loud, anxious......(the list goes on) then try "try again".

Think of what results you can get.   It is a reminder that their tone, body language, or words are not appropriate and they need to stop and try it all over. When they "try again" and it's appropriate, then answer calmly with your response. Don't remind them that they were wrong the first time.  They already know this from your "try again" response.  

These words work well with all children.  They work even with the most challenging situations you and your child may be experiencing. My four year old grandson has been diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and the words "try again" help him to stop and regroup and focus on what he wants to say.

The 2 word simple phrase also works with all ages; toddler to teen.  

One reason (among many) that I love these two words is because they respect both you and the child.   

Words of caution:   You may be doing this over and over throughout their childhood/teenage years. This will be common as our children are still learning.  

Good news is you will find having to use it less and less as you don't engage in power struggles.

REMEMBER:  You are actually encouraging and teaching more by using these two simple words than any lecture or yelling or power struggle ever will teach!  

Side effect: this keeps YOU calmer too and less stress and anxiety in the home.  

So....Try "TRY AGAIN" *Editors note* - Christie here (Laurie's Daughter). My son (he will be 5 in January) was diagnosed recently with Sensory Processing Disorder (read about it here!). Not only are most of his senses overloaded with more stimuli than the average person (their brains do not block out the stimuli that normal brains block out because it is unimportant or irrelevant to their current situation) he also sometimes do not receive enough stimuli to certain senses, causing SPD kids to SEEK it (you will commonly find my son watching TV upside down, simply because it adds more stimuli to his brain).The emotional reactions to said stimuli (or lack thereof) is also hard to manage for him, because his brain is trying to hard to manage all the other stimuli going on around him. Sometimes, he just gets WAY too excited about something, and usually ends up yelling too loudly, or running up to Nana and crashing into her on his way to one of his rare hugs (hugs aren't a thing usually because he doesn't like the way it feels - stimuli thing again... touch is a hard one for him). Sometimes he just doesn't know why he is sad or overwhelmed so he tries to make up reasons that he is.

ANYWAY, one time while on a trip to visit my sister, I heard her use her "try again" with her children. It worked so well! I came home and started using it on my kids (specifically my son, who was not yet diagnosed). It is WONDERFUL! Sometimes due to lack or too much stimuli around him, he doesn't know how loud his voice is, or too whiny, or too mean, or rude, etc. But if I simply say "try again", he stops and thinks "oh... how did I say that? why do I have to try again?" and it helps HIM to realize what he is doing. If I simply tell him, he can't tune out other stimuli enough to listen to me. But if HE figures it out, he does a much better job at correcting the problem himself! At first I had to explain to my older kids what I meant by try again. But once they caught on, all I have to say is "try again". And now my 2 year old knows what I mean by it, because she has seen me use it with the older kids. Awesome! Seriously, try it for a while. It will change your life!

COURAGE

In light of recent happenings and events in the world, this word has been on my mind as I think of children.  My thoughts are on our children and those who live in the areas that are bombarded with hatred.    I see the courage these children have on a constant basis.  Going to bed at night, some looking for food for their families, others watch friends and family die, some are dealing with death in their “peaceful” countries.  

I believe OUR children need to learn this word, COURAGE.   They may never have to deal with a war torn country (we hope, we pray) but it is around their world constantly.   Technology shows us what is happening all over the word in an instant!  We all know this.   Some of our children see this and don’t understand where these events are happening and it causes great anxiety and fear.

We need to shield our younger children as much as possible.   These little ones aren’t reading the news or going on the internet, but they see and they hear.  I learned this a few years ago when there were devastating floods in our area.  I had picked up some of my grandchildren that very day to stay with us for a week.  It was all over the radio and tv.   We watched the news all day.  As adults we are aware that often the same event is shown over and over on the news.   To my grandchildren, as they heard it while playing or saw it on tv, they thought it was happening all over again.  Every time they saw a broadcast of the floods, it was new to them.  Turn off the tv, or watch when they aren’t around.

The same thing happens when we watch events all over the world.  It may be the same event, but to young children this is happening again and again.  

Children who are in school are going to hear and see things.  They may even study these events.  This can frighten some children.  Teenagers, of course, know what is going on and there are those that are afraid (although they may not express this).

Communicate with your children.  Watch their expressions, the things they say and even the things they don’t say.    LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN to them.

I would like to add another suggestion:

TEACH THEM COURAGE

We need to teach our children to have courage; courage in the words they use, courage to stand up for that which they believe, courage to face another day, and courage to look at the good in the world.  They need to have courage on the playground, courage in their families, courage in the schools, courage in their workplace, courage on the sports field, and courage in the world.

This starts with telling them what courage means.  Talk about the word often, point out times they had courage, read books, tell them stories of courageous people (including yourself).  Children may surprise you at some point how courageous they can be.  One of our young grandchildren stood up to a bully who was picking on a friend with a disability.  That is COURAGE.  If they learn courage in their little world, it is easier to have courage in the big world.  When children feel courageous they will have power within themselves; power to change the world, power to stand up to those that are mean or evil, power to do what it right.

Model courage yourself.  Be a change in the way people talk about others.  Have courage to say something when you see someone who is not being treated fairly.  Have an attitude of courage.

Having courage, even just an understanding of the word, gives our children hope in whatever circumstances they are in.   It gives them power to handle the situations they see in this world.  For some children, it gives them life.