Weekly Goal: Play

Playing with our children is so important. Not only does it teach THEM to play, but shows them we want to be a part of THEIR world, not just having them in our world. Besides that, their world is much more fun!!

Printable 8x10 - right click, save and print! 

So go spend a little time in your kids' world. You'll be amazed by the magic and beauty!

Pin this one! 

Attitude of Gratitude

Ahhh... My favorite time of the year!   I have always loved December and Christmas!   A time for sharing, teaching children about giving and service.  We also teach them to think of others and about kindness!  I LOVE this!

I believe it is also a good time to teach our children about gratitude.   In a world of instant gratification, it is easy for a child to forget to be thankful for what they have and receive.   We need to step back in time when it comes to gratitude.   Let me give you a few suggestions.

- take time to write thank you cards

- take time to make a phone call to thank those not present at the moment

- send an email with a special thank you from your child

- say thank you when receiving a gift

- talk with them about the importance of a simple thank you and being grateful

- model gratitude

- say "you're welcome".  ( our society is forgetting this piece.  You will hear "no problem" or something similar.   Teach children and remember yourself to say "you're welcome".

- if it is gift they may not appreciate or like, teach them how to say thank you in a polite way.

Saying thank you seems simple, but it doesn't come naturally for most children.     However, gratitude and saying thank you will come naturally when it becomes a habit.   Make it a habit in your family!

Merry Christmas (Happy whatever you celebrate) and THANK YOU 😉 for being a part of the Parenting Piece family!

Laurie and Christie

Too High-Expectations

As I walked into the mud room the other day, this is what I saw: 

My daughter and her 3 children live in the apartment we have in the basement. They come through the shared mudroom to get to their place. I was always finding coats on the floor. It was driving me crazy! Now I know, mom walks in with three children, one is a baby, probably groceries, a diaper bag, preschool materials etc. It is hectic coming in the house with 3 little children. Were my expectations too high? Literally they were...

The children couldn't hang their coats up because the hooks were too high! So I solved the problem. I just put hooks lower, explained to the children where their coats go now and problem solved! We have had no more coats on the floor!

This is a simple solution, I understand, but it got me thinking about other expectations. Do we expect too much sometimes from our children?
For example..

Toddlers: We give them a plate of food and tell them to eat all of it. Most times, the portions are what we give them. Is it too much? Toddlers will eat tons at one meal and nothing but a few bites at another. 

Adolescents: Do we tell them to come home from friends at a certain time, yet they don't have a watch with an alarm to tell them what time it is? Do we expect them to constantly watch the clock to be home on time?

Teenagers: What are our expectations with them? Do we think they should have adult brains and adult experiences to make the correct choices all the time? 

I did believe we should teach our children responsibility and teach consequences for our actions, but we shouldn't EXPECT them to always be able to do those things we think they should do. I often hear from parents... "He knows better". This statement is a true statement, but remember how many times you had to be taught before you could make the right choice sometimes. Expect to teach them over and over. 

I don't believe you lower your standards and values in your family, those are strong and stay high! I do believe we sometimes need to lower what we expect of our children. Our EXPECTATIONS can be too high. Remember, they are learning through out their childhood. Have faith in them...help them through struggles (like the coats), problem solve with them and then see what they can do!

Are You Their Friend AND Parent?

Have you seen this quote lately?  

  Every time I see it, thoughts run through my head.   (Don't ask me what those are).  The thought that sticks out mainly is...Why can't moms and dads be both; parents and friend?

I looked up the definition of both words:

Parent:  

be or act as a mother or father to (someone).

"the warmth and attention that are the hallmarks of good parenting"

synonyms:

raise, bring up, look after, take care of, rear

Friend:  

1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.

3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.

4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: 

So, thinking through this statement of "I am not your friend, I am your parent" really doesn't make sense when raising children.  I understand we are going to protect our children and teach them to make wise decisions, but parenting is not stalking, hunting them down or even being their worst nightmare!   Parenting is advocating for your child when needed, helping them through mistakes they make and guiding them to make correct decisions.   

Yes, as they get older, they may think you are a bad nightmare (and I'm sure that is basically what this statement is about) but, if we discipline and teach with a caring heart, children will learn more and show more respect for you.  Respect should be from both child AND parent.  The statement above is not a statement of respect from the parent.  

My father had boundaries and guidelines for me to follow.  Did I like them all?  No!   Did I think he was my worst nightmare? No!   I may not have agreed with him, maybe even have been mad at him at times, but never did I think of him as a stalker, or an enemy or nightmare. 

So, ideas on how to be the parent your child respects?  ( doesn't mean always agrees with, but respects you and your boundaries).   Let's rewrite this statement!

"I am your friend AND I am your parent!  

I will walk beside you and guide you.

I will discuss with you your concerns and mine.

I will listen to you always, in turn I hope you listen to me.

I have you in my dreams and I hope your dreams are happy, too.

When mistakes are made, I want you to know you can come to me!  ALWAYS!  This way we can learn together, to make it better next time.

Because I love you!"

I like this statement so much better!  The only problem I see with it, is it doesn't fit on a decorative board like the other one!  :)

So, can we be friend AND parent?  Of course we can!   

As the definition of the words friend and parent states, we can "be and act as a mother or father" and "be the person our child knows, likes, and trusts!"  

Laurie