Showing posts with label Relax. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relax. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Attitude of Gratitude

Ahhh... My favorite time of the year!   I have always loved December and Christmas!   A time for sharing, teaching children about giving and service.  We also teach them to think of others and about kindness!  I LOVE this!

I believe it is also a good time to teach our children about gratitude.   In a world of instant gratification, it is easy for a child to forget to be thankful for what they have and receive.   We need to step back in time when it comes to gratitude.   Let me give you a few suggestions.

- take time to write thank you cards
- take time to make a phone call to thank those not present at the moment
- send an email with a special thank you from your child
- say thank you when receiving a gift
- talk with them about the importance of a simple thank you and being grateful
- model gratitude
- say "you're welcome".  ( our society is forgetting this piece.  You will hear "no problem" or something similar.   Teach children and remember yourself to say "you're welcome".
- if it is gift they may not appreciate or like, teach them how to say thank you in a polite way.

Saying thank you seems simple, but it doesn't come naturally for most children.     However, gratitude and saying thank you will come naturally when it becomes a habit.   Make it a habit in your family!


Merry Christmas (Happy whatever you celebrate) and THANK YOU 😉 for being a part of the Parenting Piece family!

Laurie and Christie



Monday, November 30, 2015

Laughing Matters

Happy thoughts today!   So no teaching today.... I just want you to enjoy your children!  PLAY!
Ideas: 
  • Build a fort, 
  • sing a song, 
  • do a puzzle, 
  • play a game, 
  • blow bubbles, 
  • face paint,
  • read, 
  • finger paint with pudding, 
  • pull them around on an old blanket, 
  • dance, 
  • play dress up, 
  • paint a fence with water, 
  • build an obstacle course with pillows and boxes, 
  • living room picnic, 
  • build a spaceship.

Best advice for today?  LAUGH!


Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Two Words to stop yelling, rudeness, meltdowns, and more!!

Two calm words to stop yelling, rudeness and power struggles (and more!)


I have to tell you that this idea came from my daughter.  Where she heard it first, I have no idea, but I LOVE the results she sees when she uses these words.  I now teach them in every class I teach on discipline.  Parents come back with positive results!   I would love to flood the world with these two words!


 "Try again"


Wow!   Two simple words.  


When are children are speaking rudely, excitedly, not using manners, yelling, meltdowns, not sharing, hitting, eye rolling, bad language, loud, anxious......(the list goes on) then try "try again".


Think of what results you can get.   It is a reminder that their tone, body language, or words are not appropriate and they need to stop and try it all over. When they "try again" and it's appropriate, then answer calmly with your response. Don't remind them that they were wrong the first time.  They already know this from your "try again" response.  


These words work well with all children.  They work even with the most challenging situations you and your child may be experiencing. My four year old grandson has been diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and the words "try again" help him to stop and regroup and focus on what he wants to say.


The 2 word simple phrase also works with all ages; toddler to teen.  


One reason (among many) that I love these two words is because they respect both you and the child.   


Words of caution:   You may be doing this over and over throughout their childhood/teenage years. This will be common as our children are still learning.  


Good news is you will find having to use it less and less as you don't engage in power struggles.


REMEMBER:  You are actually encouraging and teaching more by using these two simple words than any lecture or yelling or power struggle ever will teach!  


Side effect: this keeps YOU calmer too and less stress and anxiety in the home.  

So....Try "TRY AGAIN" 😉 *Editors note* - Christie here (Laurie's Daughter). My son (he will be 5 in January) was diagnosed recently with Sensory Processing Disorder (read about it here!). Not only are most of his senses overloaded with more stimuli than the average person (their brains do not block out the stimuli that normal brains block out because it is unimportant or irrelevant to their current situation) he also sometimes do not receive enough stimuli to certain senses, causing SPD kids to SEEK it (you will commonly find my son watching TV upside down, simply because it adds more stimuli to his brain).The emotional reactions to said stimuli (or lack thereof) is also hard to manage for him, because his brain is trying to hard to manage all the other stimuli going on around him. Sometimes, he just gets WAY too excited about something, and usually ends up yelling too loudly, or running up to Nana and crashing into her on his way to one of his rare hugs (hugs aren't a thing usually because he doesn't like the way it feels - stimuli thing again... touch is a hard one for him). Sometimes he just doesn't know why he is sad or overwhelmed so he tries to make up reasons that he is.
ANYWAY, one time while on a trip to visit my sister, I heard her use her "try again" with her children. It worked so well! I came home and started using it on my kids (specifically my son, who was not yet diagnosed). It is WONDERFUL! Sometimes due to lack or too much stimuli around him, he doesn't know how loud his voice is, or too whiny, or too mean, or rude, etc. But if I simply say "try again", he stops and thinks "oh... how did I say that? why do I have to try again?" and it helps HIM to realize what he is doing. If I simply tell him, he can't tune out other stimuli enough to listen to me. But if HE figures it out, he does a much better job at correcting the problem himself! At first I had to explain to my older kids what I meant by try again. But once they caught on, all I have to say is "try again". And now my 2 year old knows what I mean by it, because she has seen me use it with the older kids. Awesome! Seriously, try it for a while. It will change your life!

Monday, April 14, 2014

Aha! and Haha! Moments

We've all heard of “Aha! Moments” where we realize something or understand something. (Webster's Dictionarya moment of sudden realization, inspiration, insight, recognition, or comprehension)  I want to talk about “HaHa Moments”.  Those moments when you just have to laugh! 
Here’s a great example shared by a friend of mine, Rachelle, that happened with her 5 year old son.   The pictures that are included are actual pictures of the event.  When I saw these, I laughed out loud!  It was clearly an example of a HaHa moment!

 “I had asked my son to clean up his room one night. When I went upstairs to check on him I walked into his room and noticed his room was completely empty!

I had expected to find everything shoved under his bed and in his closet,  but to my dismay as I turned around I noticed my own room was barricaded with all of his belongings!

My son was standing there in the doorway and then he turned to me and said "No Mom! You go clean your room!"  I didn't know if I should be furious or impressed, however, after a discussion about how if he couldn't take care of his belongings and put them back where they belong they would be given to another boy, he understood the gravity of the situation. 
And then he was asked to clean up the proper way!”

HaHa moment for sure!   Mom certainly handled the situation the right way.  Sometimes you just have to laugh.  Did he have to take the time to put it all back?  Of course he did.   Would yelling at him or punishing him in anyway have solved the situation any better?  Of course not!   Would he have learned more if she had spanked him?  No, in fact it would have had a negative effect on the whole situation!   He was trying to be funny and use a HaHa moment himself.   His self-Esteem would have gone down, respect for child and parent would have diminished.  Was it funny?  YES!  His personality was in play at the time!   Could mom laugh?  Of course she could (and did!).  The rest of us laughed too!   Did he have to take care of the whole mess?  YES… there are consequences to our actions!  Yet, mom certainly used her sense of humor.
 Using your sense of humor in parenting, easing the tension, leaves self respect intact and can even be used as a teaching moment.    As a family, my adult children still talk about the times that humor was used in teaching a lesson, rather than punishment.   Longer lasting lessons are learned when you use your sense of humor.
Think of someone you know that has a good sense of humor (not sarcasm, that is different.  We will talk about sarcasm at another time).  When you think of that person, doesn't it make you want to be around them?   My father has a wonderful sense of humor and my children and now my grandchildren talk about him all the time with love in their voices as they do!  Everyone wants to invite Grandpa B to all our events.  We love to be around him.   Your children will think the same of you if you use your humor in a way to teach.
Caution again:  We aren't going to use a joke or a sense of humor in all teaching.   You can go overboard.   Also, don’t make fun of your children or use sarcasm when using your humor.  This will backfire!   You do need to always use your kind and understanding self, even when not laughing!
 So… try to change your view of things.  Laugh WITH your children!  Find those “HaHa moments” in your parenting!

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Wewax!

I love the lessons little children teach us.   For example:

A.J.:  *Age 3, on sofa, hands behind head, legs crossed*
Nana:  “A.J., what are you doing?”
A.J.:  “Nana, I just want to wewax!” (translation:  I just want to relax!)

There is a lesson for all of us in that story…sometimes relaxing is the best tool for parenting.  When things get uptight, overwhelming and you feel you can’t go on (or hear one more whine, cry or MOM!), just relax!  This will calm your soul, calm your mind and calm your spirit. 

Being a parent is hard!!  No argument there.  I believe we sometimes need to relax about events in our homes.   Misbehaviour is often a result of parents over reacting.  Children put up a defence and take to arguing, name calling and sometimes violence.   

Do you escalate when something goes wrong?   Do you react too quickly and then are upset when you punish too harsh? 

Take time before you react.  Relax your body and mind.  I often say “go to your happy place”.  (My happy place is pictured below… this is where my mind goes when frustrated!) Then deal with the situation appropriately.  For young toddlers, this breath of calm shouldn't be too long or they will forget what they have done.  With older children and teenagers, you can say “I need a few minutes”, then return when you are calmer.

I also think you should relax more when things are going well.  You know why they tell you on an airplane to put the oxygen mask on you first before you put it on your child?  Ya, you can’t help your child if you are passed out.  Same with parenting.

So… one thing to remember in this parenting puzzle…  “Just WEWAX!”

Thank you A.J. for reminding me of this!


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