Here’s a great example shared by a friend of mine, Rachelle, that happened with her 5 year old son. The pictures that are included are actual pictures of the event. When I saw these, I laughed out loud! It was clearly an example of a HaHa moment!
“I had asked my son to clean up his room one night. When I went upstairs to check on him I walked into his room and noticed his room was completely empty!
I had expected to find everything shoved under his bed and in his closet, but to my dismay as I turned around I noticed my own room was barricaded with all of his belongings!
My son was standing there in the doorway and then he turned to me and said "No Mom! You go clean your room!" I didn't know if I should be furious or impressed, however, after a discussion about how if he couldn't take care of his belongings and put them back where they belong they would be given to another boy, he understood the gravity of the situation.
And then he was asked to clean up the proper way!”
HaHa moment for sure! Mom certainly handled the situation the right way. Sometimes you just have to laugh. Did he have to take the time to put it all back? Of course he did. Would yelling at him or punishing him in anyway have solved the situation any better? Of course not! Would he have learned more if she had spanked him? No, in fact it would have had a negative effect on the whole situation! He was trying to be funny and use a HaHa moment himself. His self-Esteem would have gone down, respect for child and parent would have diminished. Was it funny? YES! His personality was in play at the time! Could mom laugh? Of course she could (and did!). The rest of us laughed too! Did he have to take care of the whole mess? YES… there are consequences to our actions! Yet, mom certainly used her sense of humor.
Using your sense of humor in parenting, easing the tension, leaves self respect intact and can even be used as a teaching moment. As a family, my adult children still talk about the times that humor was used in teaching a lesson, rather than punishment. Longer lasting lessons are learned when you use your sense of humor.
Think of someone you know that has a good sense of humor (not sarcasm, that is different. We will talk about sarcasm at another time). When you think of that person, doesn't it make you want to be around them? My father has a wonderful sense of humor and my children and now my grandchildren talk about him all the time with love in their voices as they do! Everyone wants to invite Grandpa B to all our events. We love to be around him. Your children will think the same of you if you use your humor in a way to teach.
Caution again: We aren't going to use a joke or a sense of humor in all teaching. You can go overboard. Also, don’t make fun of your children or use sarcasm when using your humor. This will backfire! You do need to always use your kind and understanding self, even when not laughing!
So… try to change your view of things. Laugh WITH your children! Find those “HaHa moments” in your parenting!
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