Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year!

A new year is a time to make changes, set goals, and restart!   Before you quit reading because you have heard that over and over again and you have no time as a parent to renew each day, let alone set goals for a whole year (whew) let me suggest something simple and easy..... And it doesn't matter when you start!  New year, middle of February, end of June, whenever!   ( kinda takes the pressure off huh?)

Each week we will have a simple goal for you to work on for the week.  A simple word or thought to remember for the week as you strive to be a better parent. Our goals will be posted each week...Feel free to print them out if you would like.

No need to worry, We will still post our regular fun posts, parenting advice and other thoughts.

So bring on 2016 with encouragement each week from the Parenting Piece!

Laurie and Christie.

Attitude of Gratitude

Ahhh... My favorite time of the year!   I have always loved December and Christmas!   A time for sharing, teaching children about giving and service.  We also teach them to think of others and about kindness!  I LOVE this!

I believe it is also a good time to teach our children about gratitude.   In a world of instant gratification, it is easy for a child to forget to be thankful for what they have and receive.   We need to step back in time when it comes to gratitude.   Let me give you a few suggestions.

- take time to write thank you cards

- take time to make a phone call to thank those not present at the moment

- send an email with a special thank you from your child

- say thank you when receiving a gift

- talk with them about the importance of a simple thank you and being grateful

- model gratitude

- say "you're welcome".  ( our society is forgetting this piece.  You will hear "no problem" or something similar.   Teach children and remember yourself to say "you're welcome".

- if it is gift they may not appreciate or like, teach them how to say thank you in a polite way.

Saying thank you seems simple, but it doesn't come naturally for most children.     However, gratitude and saying thank you will come naturally when it becomes a habit.   Make it a habit in your family!

Merry Christmas (Happy whatever you celebrate) and THANK YOU 😉 for being a part of the Parenting Piece family!

Laurie and Christie

A Different Kind of Mother

Christie here. I haven't ever really introduced myself on the blog. I am Laurie's daughter, and am the "tech" side of the blog here. Mom writes the awesome content. I try and keep the blog as awesome as her content.

This post is going to be a little different. Mom suggested I post this, as it has been shared a few times now on social media (which I am extremely honored about). She thought it needed to be posted on the blog. It's not about your typical "motherhood". It is about a whole different kind of mother - the one you never really know about, or know exist unless someone tells you. In addition to being a mother of 3 beautiful kids, I am also the kind of aforementioned mother. I am a birth mother. I placed my son for adoption when he was born, after painstakingly choosing his forever family. He just celebrated his 9th birthday. Below, is the snippet of my story, the one that was shared on social media a few times. I never knew the impact it could make, but I'm so grateful for the chance to tell my story in a small way. 


Please feel free to comment and ask any questions you may have about adoption, birth mothers etc. 

"My birth son's (adoptive) mother sent this photo, of my birth son right after he was born, to me. I remember that day so well. His wide, bright eyes as he opened his eyes for the first time. His unwavering stare at the world around him. The little bubbles he was creating around his mouth. His 'amazed' expression as he glanced at his forever father. And the first 'coos' he gave to his forever mother. I will never forget my birth son's smell, his cries, and his soft skin as I held him. How we fell asleep together. How I sang to him.

Josh Groban's, 'Awake,' was my song for my birth son. I remember how well that song fit how I felt that weekend he was born: 'Keep me awake to memorize you. Give us more time to be this way. We can't stay like this forever, but I have you next to me today... We'll let tomorrow wait, you're here right now with me. And all of my fears just fall away, when you are all I see.'

I will remember the love we shared that day, today - I love you baby boy. I will always love you. Happy Birthday.
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The relationship that I have with my birth son's parents is amazing. I am so thankful that I can be a small part of my birth son's life, and watch him grow. I see him at least once a year (when schedules permit), and he and his adoptive parents even attended my wedding. Open adoption is such a beautiful thing." - Birth Mother, Christie from Canada

It's Not Fair!!

"That's not fair!"  "She has more than me!"  "You love him more than me!"  Have you ever heard these words?   In a child's mind...it is true. They are all or nothing.... if you give your love to them, there is nothing for me!   That is natural for them to think this way...but they are teachable.   They can be taught to look at fairness in a whole new way.  Fair doesn't always mean equal.   There can be enough for everyone.

It's not always your job to fix the problem.  If you let your children learn to talk it out and not get you involved, it teaches problem solving.  Too often we don't want children to feel disappointment or jealousy in the family.   I think children need to feel this emotions at times, to learn how to deal with them.   It's O.K. for them to be upset about something they don't see as fair.   A nice conversation when things have cooled down might be the best way to help them understand.   Having said that, it's not always necessary.

If one child is overpowering another too often, a talk with both at separate times and at a calm time is appropriate.   To the one being "taken advantages of in sharing", possibly ask them what they could say or do the next time that happens.  Empower them to stick up for what they deem to be fair.   You could ask the same thing to the child who seems to always get their way.   A simple conversation can change the way THEY handle it the next time.

I know one parent who says "I don't do fair". It seems now the number of "not fair" comments have decreased.  Dad doesn't buy into it or let it push his buttons.

Other ways to handle the NOT FAIR attitude in your home could include:

-Validate their feeling without solving the problem.
-Let them know you have confidence they can work this out and praise them when they do
-When they say "it's not fair"  you can explain your decision, but only once.  (Use your best judgement as a parent on this, you don't always have to explain!)  If they continue, you ask them to explain back to you.  They usually calm down at this time.
-If it is an on going problem, sit down with that child and do scenarios to help them with problem solving.  Make it fun as you teach the lesson.
-And as always my favorite parenting technique ever is to spend one on one time with each child.   Develop that relationship!  As you do this, the jealousy and fairness attitudes will decrease as your child learns that he/she is important to you no matter what another child or person receives.

Daily Reminders

I really want to talk about one of my favorite quotes that I have in my home...it is a daily reminder of what is important in my life.

"Never let a problem to be solved be more important than a person to be loved!"  Thomas S Monson

I love these words.  If each of us used this in our parenting, then more compassion, more empathy, more understanding, more forgiving and more teaching would be felt.

Short post with a huge thought!   Share with us how you could or already do use this in your life!